Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Hantu Jeruk Purut

Watch it on YOUTUBE. Don't bother to use Youtube if you don't know how to search for it.

This synopsis is cut & paste from elsewhere, so the grammar is much better than mine.... ahak !!

Jeruk Purut is a Cemetery which is believed to be haunted. A horror novelist, Anna who wrote a story about ghost in Jeruk Purut cemetery found death at her house. Anna’s best friend, Airin is trying to solve the mystery of Airin death through the novels that Anna wrote. Besides solving the mystery, Airin also has an ambition to write a horror novel based on the Anna’s incident. Her investigation brings her to Jeruk Purut cemetery and Airin become obsessed by the ghost story. Right after Airin’s visit to the cemetery, mysterious accidents start to happen to Anna and her friends. It seems that the Jeruk Purut ghost wants Airin to stop the investigation.

My Review

Forget about story line. It was all mess up, but if you are in for some scary shit and frucking ugly ghost that will terrorise your dream tonite, you are on the right track. The intros were the best I watched so far. Intros - yes with "s", this movie has two intro scenes and it took more than 10 minutes before you get to seek opening text.

No I wasn't talking about this intro.

It is 12.30 midnight and I'm all alone downstair doing review on a ghost movie. Damn I'm one macho guy. I heard some weird sound on my backyard. Now no more. It sound like one in the ring. The scene in cellar .... I hope it as just frog, or else I'll loose my machoness soon.

The Ghosts

Let me post some of the ghost appearing in the movie and do some caption on it so that you'll understand what was it about.

Ghost #1 : Female Vampire a.k.a. Kuntilanak @ Pontianak, raped and murdered by ghost #2, when she was alive. They tried to get Maya Karim but apparently she was busy dating me that time..... Ahak ! khak tui.....!!

The female ghost decided to do some David Copperfield levitation magic on the chick, but somehow she forgot to hypnotize her, that my friend freak her out.

Ghost #2 : Headless ghost, head chopped off by villagers after he muder the above girl and a man. Not sure if he sodomized that man or not.

The headless ghost carries his head around looking for poor bustard to kill and kick ass. One nasty ghost. Previously acted in Hollowman as Headless Horseman with Johnny Deep and bitch who played Casper's girlfriend.

He is currently looking into modeling as headless supermarket mannequin.

Ghost #3 : Hantu Jeruk Purut, a young fresh manggo was murdered and cut into pieces and preserved it parts IN A JAR !! This ghost will chocked it unsuspecting victim to death and it is bad for asthmatic patients.

You don't see this ghost in the movie but this is one of the most dangerous and notorious ghost in the movie. Or else they won't call the movie - Hantu Jeruk Purut.

This ghost was actually in the movie. It was so scary they had to cut out the part when this ghost appear - or else it will not be approved by LEMBAGA SENSOR FILEM - the biggest and meanest of all LEMBAGA in Indonesia.

Like one in Malaysia, the scariest of all is LEMBAGA HASIL DALAM NEGERI, a TOYOL type ghost who steal your hard earn money - legally. Fortunately some ghost in Malaysia already extinct like Electic Ghost - Lembaga Letrik Negara (LLN).

Dear Director : Shitty Plot to avoid in future

1) A group of youngster visit already known haunted cemetery middle on night hoping to see some ghost and when a black shadow appear, they start running and screaming like sissy bitches. People who are brave enough to step foot in a graveyard middle of the nite will not run like sissy bitch. Unless the freaking ghost start eating your friend brain.

2) Stop going to a cemetery alone at night when you can actually go the during daytime. You are taking pictures, not grave robber or something.

3) Hospital always full of patient and staff nurse - making a scene with empty rooms and corridors, is nonsense.

4) When ghost chasing you, run along the corridor, do not enter room with dead body (morgue).

5) Dear director, visit disco toilet for once in your life. There is no way a toilet empty in a disco club. People drink a lot and piss a lot to.

6) When ghost appear in toilet - quite running around in the toilet - just get the fruck out.

7) When ghost disturb you in disco toilet - don't drive back home alone you idiot !! get some bitches and gayboy to accompany you home.

8) Finally, indonesia has lot of pretty chick, why can't you have one as main actress?

Above all, I still enjoy the show coz it's free.